Since university my friends and I have fantasized about living on the same block or plot of land. In this universe we’d see each other every day and some day raise kids together. I call it the millennial dream. Over the years this dream has remained just that, a deferred idea that would require rare levels of coordination and commitment to pull off in today’s busy world.

That was until this summer, when we unexpectedly got to taste that dream with new neighbors who moved in downstairs. It was the millennial dream summer, a magical window into what adult urban communal living could be.

In April we looked to find friends to fill the condo below us that had just been posted for rent. Our building is a simple structure - two stacked condos, so finding friends to fill the open space would mean building our own little four person community.

After no luck with our immediate circle we were introduced to S and B, friends of friends who were looking to move to the East Bay from SF. They came over to see the place and we briefly chatted. They were also married without kids, and the vibes felt good enough for people we didn’t know. Two days later they had signed, and we were off.

Within the first few weeks we began spontaneous walks around the neighborhood. All it took was a “Walk anyone?” text to the group chat to get at least two people on a walk together. Some weeks would see as many as ten impromptu walks.

Walks became the gateway to getting to know each other quickly and deepen connection. Connection led to doing an all day scavenger hunt together. Then a museum day at the De Young. A the fourth of July trip to Paso Robles. A Bollywood night. And a few kitchen sink nights where we’d make meals from veggies that were on their last leg.

The benefits of easy, in-person interaction were immense. Conversations ranged from casual updates on our days to deeper subjects like forgiveness, grief, friendship, and happiness. Often we’d order coffee for here vs. to-go, reinforcing we had time for each other without rush. It was a European way of living in Oakland, California.

The ingredients to this harmony were: proximity, similar life stages, and a collective intention to say yes. Another big factor was our shared vegetable and flower garden. The garden served as a collaborative project with community buy in and benefit. Growing plants together forced us to learn, fail, and reap benefits as a unit. It also didn’t hurt that we had a shared sense of humor and common interests.

The millennial dream summer ended this November when we moved out of state. In an age where we seem to be losing connection faster that we’re creating it, the summer of 2024 was a flash in the pan of what could be. I felt spoiled by people who I could see and touch and interact with on a moment’s notice. And I was reminded that new and close connection can sometimes come simply when you invite it in.